Almost there

We're home! Well, almost home! We made it back to my parents house in Jacksonville around noon:) We'll leave for Fayetteville some time tomorrow afternoon! It was so great to see our puppies again! I missed them sooo much! We have a 1 year old Shipperkie named Mya and a 10 month old Pit Bull named Rocco and they are the lights of our life right now, as sad as that might sound lol!! My sister-in-law came to my parent's house a few times a day to play with them and feed them and what not, so they were well taken care of, but it's still so great to have them curled up on the couch with us again!! The trip home was a lot better than the trip up there! I drove for a few hours in the beginning but hated driving around sooo many semi's so I traded off with my dad and slept most of the way! I read "The Time Traveler's Wife" while I was awake and a part of it dealt with them struggling to have a baby! She had 6 m/c before having a healthy baby girl! It was tough to read and not cry out load and embarrass myself all over again! But it really is great to read about other woman struggling in literature. I don't mean that it's great to have other women struggle... but that there is coverage of the subject all over the place these days! Thomas and I just finished watching The Nativity Story. He had never seen it before and really liked it! I saw it last Christmas while I was home for the holidays (Thomas was in Afghanistan) with my family! Tonight was just one of those times when you think back to the year before and realize that you are still trying to get pregnant! Easter is another one, obviously... as is my birthday! I remember sitting in the theater last year being so sad that I was "empty". My womb was empty, my house felt empty and my mind felt empty! All I could think of was the blessing growing in Mary. Not even on the level that she was carrying The Savior, but that she was carrying a child!! I wanted to feel a baby kick in me as she did. Every Easter I think about the day I sat, bleeding in service. About the denial I felt and the loss. At one moment I felt so full and hopeful. excited about what was to come and the next moment I knew I was empty... and filled with want like I had never felt before! Here I am, a whole year later... will I be here next year, watching that same movie feeling empty or full at last!? I'm praying for the latter.