I have no idea where this blog is going to go! Every time i sit down to start typing a new post I get all flustered and do something else instead! But today i need to rant and rave about my STUPID Boss-Lady!
To start off, I work for a 36 y/o lady as a part time babysitter for her 6 month old daughter. And I am 21 y/o!
OK! When i got the job a few months ago i told her that we were TTC and that we would be meeting with our RE soon to find out why we weren't pregnant yet and that we might have to under go a lot of testing and fertility treatments, so i would need her to be aware that I might need time off from work for appointments and/or procedures! She was so great with letting me take the day off for my HSG, other than that i have made it to work on time every other time i had to go in for testing! That's not the "beef" i have with her! It's that she is sooo selfish, self-absorbed, inconsiderate, cocky and completely free of tact!!
Once we got on the topic of IF and she went on and on about how lucky she was to have gotten pregnant on her first cycle. She told me that she was completely happy with her life before her daughter and that if it took them more than a few months to conceive then they would just continue on with their lives with out children... no big loss! She told me that she had a few friends that had dealt/are dealing with IF and that she could never imagine wanting a baby so bad that you would spend all that money to put yourself through it and that she would never adopt either because if she couldn't have a child of her own, she didn't want any! Then added that she was, of course, very happy to have her baby now, but that if she couldn't have gotten pregnant she would have been fine with that! I tried to be polite and just smiled and nodded through the whole of it! That was about 2 months ago!
Today, she commented on how it was perfect baby-making weather outside! I'm in the 2ww so i just made a comment that we wouldn't be doing any of that today! She asked how TTC was going for us and i gave her the spill on our doctor being deployed and that it looks like we're going to be doing IUI next fall if i don't get pregnant in the next few cycles before Thomas deploys again! Then she asked if I would have to be put on fertility drugs (with a very judgmental tone in her voice) and i told her that we would just have to see what the test results say next fall! She told me (with a huge smile on her face) that her and her husband got pregnant right before he deployed and that there was something special about the sex right before and after a deployment that knocks girls up around here! I laughed at the idea of facing my second deployment since we started TTC! I told her that i had so much hope that we would get pregnant before he left last year and then it turned into hoping and praying that we would get pg with that "special" welcome home sex! And that it is just strange to know that I'm in the exact same place i was in last year! Then she laughed!... OMG, she frigging LAUGHED at that:( And started going on about how young we are! she said "it's so silly how young you are and that you're worried about this! hahahahaha! You've got sooo much time, don't worry so much!" I wanted to slap her! but by then i was already on the front porch bawling on my way to my car!
I know that it might not seem like a big deal to some people! and I'm not disputing the fact that we are still young! But in my opinion, my age only fuels my worries! 21 y/o's shouldn't be having T-TTC! I think that if i was 35+ y/o, then she should tell me not to worry! I mean, if you're that age, it almost shouldn't be a surprise that you might have some trouble getting pregnant! But for a couple in their early twenties, i thought it was unusual around 9 months of TTC! But whatever! I'm just so tired of hearing that I don't have anything to be worried about and that I'm so young! How old do you have to be to be worried? Or how long do i have to remain childless for someone (that hasn't dealt with IF) to acknowledge the fact that we ARE having TROUBLE TTC!?!?!
I'm just fed up i guess! I'm ready to move on. Ready to get pregnant and start down that whole new road in my life! Or at least, I'm ready for it to be next fall already, for my RE and my husband to be home so we can get the ball rolling!
I need patience! I need faith!
THIS WILL HAPPEN!
I WILL BE A MOTHER!
DELAY IS NOT DENIAL!
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1 comment:
I couldn't agree with you more about the age thing. It pisses me off to no end that peaople say "your young,it will happen" (I'm 25). I want to smack people who say that, as if MFI, PCOS, Endo or many other factors that cause IF discrinamte based on age! Grrr. Makes me made just thinking about all the people who have said that to me.
I hope your boss stops bringing IF up because honestly she sounds like she doesn't know shit about reproduction!
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