I have always had a problem with praying for a baby! I have had a few friends that are having T-TTC and of course, all of the ladies on my message board! So when I pray, I pray for them! I couldn't imagine being the friend that had to give the "good news" to a friend that was still hurting and waiting for her good news! So when it came time to pray, I prayed that they would get their BFPs first, since I knew I could handle the news! And honestly I'm amazed that God has answered my prayers so precisely!! All 3 of the women i have been prayer partners with have conceived and are expecting their miracle babies very soon! But now I just want it to be my turn! I know that sounds pitiful, but it's true! I wish I could have a BFP to announce and, more importantly, a baby growing inside of me! It has still been really hard for me to pray for my own miracle! I don't know what it is, but i just don't feel like i should pray for pregnancy and motherhood when there are still so many women that i "know" that are still struggling!
We only have one more cycle before Thomas deploys again, and i can't fathom not being able to TTC for the next 6 months... Not having any hope for that long... and then starting the testing and diagnosing all over again! Don't get me wrong, next august/September, when we start trying again I will be ecstatic to be "back on the horse"! But i just can't help but feel like we should already be at that point! The waiting is the hardest part! And second to that is seeing all my friends pregnant and having their babies. I need to start praying... not just for everyone else to get pregnant and have healthy babies, and not just for patience and strength... but for OUR miracle!
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