So Small

What you got if you ain't got love

The kind that you just want to give away

It's ok to open up

Go ahead and let the light shine through

I know it's hard on a rainy day

You wanna shut the world out and just be left alone

But don't run out on your faith

Cause sometimes that mountain you've been climbing

Is just a grain of sand

And what you've been out there searching for forever

Is in your hands

And when you figure out love is all that matters after all

It sure makes everything else seem

So small

It's so easy to get lost inside

A problem that seems so big at the time

It's like a river that's so wide it swallows you whole

While you're sitting around thinking about what you can't change

And worrying about all the wrong things

Time's flying by, moving so fast

You better make it count cause you can't get it back

Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing

Is just a grain of sand

And what you've been out there searching for forever

Is in your hands

Oh, and when you figure out love is all that matters after all

It sure makes everything else seem

So small

-Carrie Undersood's song

I heard this song a few minutes after my cramps started! I felt like it was such a message from God... as corney as that sounds! You know how you can hear a song a million times and then something happens in your life and you finally recognize something in the lyrics that wasn't there any time before!? That's how it was. The words hit my heart so hard!! Sometimes I get so swamped by TTC! I can really get down in the dumps, where I dont even talk to my friends or family; Thomas and the girls on thenest are the only people I want! I really do feel like I'm climbling a Mountain that I might never reach the top of! But when I heard this song it was like God was telling me that there is a summit anddd when i finally get there I will realize that it wasn't as tall as I ever though it was in the beginning!

I am constantly counting the days, weeks, and months! When you're TTC you really do live your life in 2 week intervals and from cycle to cycle! And before you know it, 12 cycles have flown by and you're in a new year! In april it will be 2 years since we started and when I think about that I feel so much loss, so much waste! I decided to put off college to start a family... and here I am. I think: I could have 2 years of school out of the way but instead I'm 2 years behind everyone else and still don't have a family! And that's when God tells me "Love is all that matters! Thomas loves you like I made him to love you! He is patient, he is kind... He will climb this mountain with you! You need to slooooow down, enjoy him, appreciate him... appreciate the walk together between point A and point B!!" I heard this all loud and clear! I'm going to try to slow down and have faith that this really is a grain of sand in my life! And that "This too shall pass"!